Thursday, March 20, 2008

Improper Feeding of Boys

I guess you could say that I am in Continuing Ed. If I thought that raising my own children was an education, here is an enrichment course: Grandchildren 101. I am probably failing the chapter, “The Proper Feeding of Boys.”
Last night while my husband was out of town, I invited five grandsons (all from one family), ages 7 months to 9 years, to spend the night while their parents went out to dinner and a movie. My How to lose weight when you’re over 50 diet went out the door faster than our dog! Don’t blame me. I just can’t eat responsibly while going crazy.
We started with “Whirly Popped” kettle corn, progressed to Costco’s jumbo bag of teeth-stickin’ taffy-tootsie treats, and settled in with giant Popsicles. Then the boys begged for dinner! No wonder we Grannies develop those round, comfortable tummies!
I am not ruining my grandkids. They’ll brush their teeth and burn 8000 calories jumping from bunk bed to bunk bed. Closer to the truth—they are ruining me!
I think to myself, “You really should eat healthy with the grandkids.” But you know what? I’ve tried that. It’s not as fun. And fun is kind of what it’s all about. No, I am not cutting pineapple into flower shapes. Can I just leave that to the parents?
For breakfast I cheerfully asked, “Who wants a piping-hot bowl of oatmeal?”
Blank stares. No takers.
I pulled out the sugared cold cereal. The boys cheered!
In came my 23-year-old-still-live-at-home-son. He looked at the kitchen counter covered with Marshmallow Mateys and said, “What has happened to you Mom? We never ate that stuff growing up!”
Grandma-ing happened to me.
Now, where’s that diet book?


Tamster said...

That was funny! I'm certainly very far from being a grandma (I'd better be!), but I can relate to your son and his comment. I think about how my mom was compared to is. I once read a quote, "If I knew how much fun having grandchildren was, I would have had them first!" Good job, Grandma! It's only your body! :-)

Shirley Bahlmann said...

This is hilarious! I had to nod my head, because as the mother of six sons, I know this never-ending hunger. My 17 year old says, "Mom! I just ate half an hour ago and I'm hungry again!" He also bemoans his lack of ability to gain weight.
Just you wait, son, just you wait.
(Loved it.)