Don't Let Church become Your Potty Chair

By Christine Thackeray

Years ago I had a friend come up to me and tell me that she could potty train any child by the age of twelve months with this wonderful new book she had bought. At the time I had three in diapers and was desperate so I believed her and anxiously borrowed the book. On the appointed day I faced my fourteen month old son armed with various types of Kool-Aid, M&M's and Cheerios for target practice.

By the end of the day both my son and I were in tears and the entire house was covered in pee. I threw away the book and my young son started hiding the potty chair. For months afterwards it would mysteriously disappear either under his bed, in a closet or in the garage. Due to this bad experience he never did use the potty chair and two years later finally began to use the toilet. I believe it took him much longer to master this skill than it otherwise would have because of that awful day.

Recently we have been given a lot of direction from church leaders about our families. As parents we must encourage our children to do many good things but we need to be sensitive of what they are ready for. I have a son (not the same one) who recently hated Stake Dances. At first I was inclined to force him to go but then I backed off, not wanting the church to become his potty chair. As he has gotten to know more people in the stake, I've watched his attitude slowly change and now he enjoys them.

Parenting is difficult. If we push too hard, we can sometimes do just the opposite of what we intend. We need to teach our children but also respect their agency so that the church doesn't become their potty chair.

AND as authors don't write books that make outlandish claims about simple solutions to complex issues or I may just have to come, hunt you down and attack you with M&M's and Kool-Aid.